Starlight
by galliechan
Summary: Roy Mustang was an average actor living in Central, trying to find good roles to support himself all the while wishing to move forward in his career. All of it changed the moment Edward Elric, a worldwide superstar, walked into his living room. AU, RoyEd
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Fullmetal Alchemist manga is the property of its creator, Hiromu Arakawa. The Fullmetal Alchemist anime is the property of their authorised owners. This story is created by the author. All original settings, characters, etc. remain the property of the author. The two countdowns I mention are inspired from E! Entertainment Television and I don't own anything about them as well.

Author's Note: I had actually planned this fiction to be a one-shot however I liked the plot so much and carried on writing until I felt satisfied. So, since I don't like long one-shots, I divided the story into four parts. Though, I wrote it like a one-shot and I have all the chapters ready so with regular updates – one chapter in a few days – I plan to finish it within two weeks.  
This story consists of several scenes in various sizes. The time between them is not the same, a few minutes up to a few years; just keep in mind that there are no flashback scenes so the story moves in one direction and if the time between any of the scenes would be important, I would mention it somehow. I hope it won't confuse you.

Starlight

A Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic  
by Galliechan  
© Copyright 2008

"_And in the second place is, none other than, Edward Elric." _said the background voice of the show, as the scene changed, _"Edward Elric, with his honey coloured hair and mesmerizing eyes, is currently one of the most wanted actors in the West City. Although not the tallest of his species, his body is an eye candy with its muscular buil-"_

"He is number two?!"

"Who the hell managed to pass him?"

Roy was surprised. Of course, not for the fact that Ed Elric was in the second place, but because Jean had managed to make Riza watch one of his stupid countdowns as well. She was even listening interestedly and attending, instead of throwing annoyed glances to Jean and daydreaming. Like Roy did.

What was the show about, again? Oh, a countdown of the sexiest action movie actors and actresses.

Somehow, Jean had an obsession with those kinds of countdowns.

He looked to the TV screen again, bored; a woman was talking about Elric's eye colour and how they matched beautifully with his hair colour.

What was Maes's excuse for coming late? Oh, yeah. Surprise.

--

It was three commercial breaks and one half of a reality show after that Maes decided to show up.

"Sorry guys," he said as soon as he entered the house, "I got a phone call from a friend and had to go to the airport to get him. There was fog up there and I had to drive slowly. Also I had to bring him here as well since he had no place to stay and I thought I might as well introduce him to you guys in the meantime." He finished quickly and went outside to help his friend carry his luggage.

_Great_, Roy sighed inwardly, _another free loader._ Three people living in a house was crowded enough, he didn't understand why Maes loved to bring them guests as well.

Maes started talking as soon as he entered the house with his friend, "Let me introduce to you," Roy looked up just in time to see Edward Elric walking next to his friend. The rest of his speech was lost to him.

--

"I can't explain how grateful I am for letting me stay here." Edward said, sitting on the arm of a couch in the living room.

"Again, no problem. We're already three people in this house; one more is not a problem." Roy said while putting the sheets on the couch and starting to prepare it for the night.

After the first shock of seeing a superstar entering his living room, and a few more minutes for their heartbeats to slow down and mind to find some words to talk, they had managed to chat casually. Elric was a kind, relaxed and talkative fellow; he didn't care about what others said about him at all. He had burst out laughing when Jean complained him that the channel put him in the second place at the countdown. Actually, for most of the time, he just listened to them because they already knew him, his friends and lifestyle from paparazzi. He got a small blush on his cheeks after hearing that.

"You know," Ed started after a few minutes of silence, "I'm pretty surprised that nobody offered big roles to you yet." He smirked seeing the other look at him curiously, with an increased eyebrow, "You definitely have the looks. I didn't watch any of your movies but you've graduated from a good school so I guess you have talent as well. My only explanation is that Central isn't so developed in this area." He paused for a few moments, thinking over what he said, "I think you should come to West City."

Roy was beginning to feel heat rushing to his cheeks; hearing those words from such a great actor. He should just record it and listen it for motivation.

"I'm not sure," he said, "living in West City isn't easy. I'm still playing minor roles in movies here so maybe after I get some bigger roles, I can go there and try my chance."

"Hmm." was the only reply he got. He looked up from the nearly-ready couch-bed and glanced to the blond, to see that his eyes were on him with a look he couldn't explain. They looked at each other for a few moments until he broke it, disturbed by the intensity in the golden eyes.

Edward smirked to himself. He decided.

"Do you think Hawkeye and Havoc are asleep?" Edward said suddenly, starting Roy with the change of subject.

"I guess," he answered, unsure, "it is almost an hour since they went to bed."

"How are their careers?"

"Jean is still unsure about his solo album. Riza works really hard, lots of fashion shows and photographs but I don't think she gets enough money." He sighed, none of them was economically healthy, thus is the reason they shared a house. _Anyway, not the time to think these subjects_, he thought and smiled, patting the bed he just finished preparing, "Your bed is ready. I hope the couch would be comfortable enough."

"Thanks again, and again. I'm sure it's comfortable enough." He said smiling, taking note of the answer about other's careers somewhere in his mind.

"Then, good night." Roy said slowly, and started to walk to his bedroom. Though, he wasn't able to take three steps towards his destination before Ed stopped him, holding from his shoulder, still sitting on the arm of the couch.

He turned to look at him, not knowing what to say, and Ed used his opportunity to wrap his other arm around his shoulder.

Roy would ask himself even many years afterwards about how he had not noticed the small details that led to the inevitable moment. For instance, he might have noticed that the room was dark; the only light source was the light from kitchen and his bedroom. Or, he might have noticed that Edward's golden eyes were shining with that small light, his hair was shadowing part of his face and his mind reminded itself the countdown his friends watched earlier in the evening and decided that _yes, the one in front of him was one of the sexiest men in the world_.

Maybe, if he had noticed, it wouldn't be so inevitable. Just maybe.

Anyway, he wasn't sure how he managed to but he hadn't noticed all these things until Edward was just a few breaths away from him and his eyes - those beautiful, glowing eyes - were looking into his own, hypnotizing him. He felt vulnerable and helpless because he was lost in the golden depths and there was no way he could blink, let alone move.

"I have a girlfriend." He remembered himself saying, thinking about the reputation of the one in front of him and his long list of relationships.

"So what?" His lips were touching his slightly as he spoke.

"I am loyal to her."

A giggle was all he heard before those delicious lips captured his and all thought flew away. Who needed them anyway, instead, there were feelings; like the way his hand pulled the dark strands of hair to apply slight pressure and his other hand moved from his cheek, caressed his cheekbone and touched his neck just enough to give a shudder; or the way he nibbled his lips affirmative when Roy let his hair loose from the braid and played with it. If there was any place for a thought in his mind at that moment, it would be about what a good kisser Ed was.

The kiss took such a long time yet it was so short and when he was walking back to his bedroom, his mind still trying to regain its ability to think, he wasn't sure whether he was happy, angry or sad.

"Good night, to you too." Edward whispered smiling, as he turned off the lights of the kitchen that Roy forgot even existed.

--

"How was it?"

The question came before any greetings and Maes smiled, letting it pass for once, since it was full of curiosity and worry.

"He was a wreck," he said, smile slipping away, while sitting to his chair, "what the hell happened to him?"

Jean sighed. Riza sipped from her coffee. Somehow, it wasn't as tasteful as before.

"Nothing that you don't know," Jean said, "he's still depressed."

"Couldn't get over Catherine, yet?"

"Don't say it like that Maes," Riza interrupted, "they were thinking about marriage, you know."

"And, it was Roy, who ended their relationship suddenly." Maes said angrily, "Now, he is regretting it?" He had been so happy that his best friend found his soul mate, the girl he had been looking for after changing one after another. Roy and Catherine had been together for two years; she was a nice and beautiful girl. They were so in love with each other but one day, Roy just ended the relationship. No logical explanation or anything, nobody understood how or why it happened.

"No, he's not." Jean said firmly, "He hadn't said her name once, never even mentioned her all this time. You remember how he was like before all these happened," he added smiling, "in every three sentences, he would have mentioned her." He continued seriously, smile gone "Give him some time Maes, before questioning him about his actions, what he did was not an easy thing. For both sides."

"The problem is that, he lets it affect his career." Riza said, "I guess he can't take a role in your TV series as well, right Maes?"

"Not _my_ TV series," he answered smiling, "I am just one of the scriptwriters. I don't even think it will be a successful show; it's not a loss not to get a role in it; though the way he is now, he may actually miss great chances."

"It is already three commercials and one movie role he didn't get that normally, he could easily get."

"Why didn't he come here with you?" Jean asked.

"He said he wanted to go home and sleep." Maes answered.

"Like he always does these days." Riza muttered.

The exact words of Riza were Roy's thoughts right now. Everyday, he found himself sitting on his bed, looking to his empty wall absently, in his dark bedroom. Sometimes, he would just look at it, his mind not able to focus on one thought and jumping from one to another. Other times, he would look to the wall but not see it; in his mind, he would be watching good memories or sad and hurtful ones.

A voice in his mind would always be saying that he shouldn't keep doing this; he should return back to real life for sitting here all day wouldn't bring any good to him. Every time he listened to that voice, he would believe it and try to act accordingly but eventually he returned back to his dark room.

It was, ironically, similar with his thoughts; they always ended up in one person, one thought. The reason his life was in the state it was in now.

_This is the last time._ He always said it to himself, because there was no reason for it to be otherwise. There was no reason for him to come and see Roy while half of the world was begging to be seen by him. But there was always a _next _time. Always, he came back to see him again.

However, Roy kept on repeating it. He knew the time would come when it would be the last time. He wanted himself to be ready when the time come, just smile and a goodbye, then his life would be back to normal. But, lately he was asking himself, why bother with it when nothing was left from his normal life?

It started with Catherine. His dear, lovely Catherine; his love, the center his life spun around. One day, her kisses weren't taking his breath away like they used to do. Her scent wasn't as sweet and her taste wasn't as addictive as it used to be. Her touches didn't create pleasurable shivers moving down his spine; her laughter wasn't enough for him to feel better. And, her eyes; when he looked at them, he could only see some emotions behind them, nothing more nothing less. It was another pair of eyes that he lost himself in; he saw the most hidden emotions of the one in front of him in those golden eyes. Lips that just to taste them, feel them he gave up on breathing until his lungs hurt. And, he heard another laughter, one that makes him smile regardless of his mood. He wasn't able to lie to Catherine anymore, looking into her eyes; so he finished it. And it hurt.

Then, it affected his job. Every time he started acting, he remembered him; the movies that he loved to watch and his great acting in them. Roy loved his job, he loved acting the moment he started it in his high school drama club. But, he wasn't able to act while he was thinking of another actor instead of the character he was playing.

He couldn't even go drinking with his friends anymore because he had a secret that he didn't want them to know. He couldn't behave and talk normally with them; they knew him well enough to understand his secret the moment he made a mistake in his acting.

None of them knew about the secret meetings with Edward. The hot kisses, whispers or the talks all night long just to know the other a little bit more.

In all of them, he reminded himself that _this is the last time_ but when Ed called him saying he was is Central, he forgot what he repeated himself over and over again and met him.

Roy harshly removed the covers of the bed and lay down. He wanted to be angry to Ed but didn't manage to. He didn't want to meet him the next time he called but he knew that he wouldn't be able to.

He would just go happily, saying _this_ was the last time.

--

It was late afternoon when Roy woke up and got out of his bedroom. Jean and Riza haven't retuned yet, so for a moment he just stood there and looked around; trying to find something that would keep his mind occupied enough that he wouldn't return back to his dark room for a few hours.

Ten minutes later, he emerged from the kitchen with a sandwich and a mug full of coffee. With the same bored expression, he moved to the living room and sat on a couch. He was about to take a bite from his sandwich when a familiar face caught his eyes. A disturbingly familiar face that he tried his hardest not to remember.

Edward Elric was smiling from one of the covers of Jean's magazines.

He slowly reached out to take the magazine and looked at its cover. The next thing he felt was the hotness spreading to his leg starting from his thigh. The moment after that, he saw the coffee mug on the couch, all of its contents spreading to his leg. By the time his mind registered that _he is burning!!_ over the shock, his pants and some part of the couch had been dyed to dark brown.

Anyway, in the end, he spent some hours outside his bedroom; now the couch was only a few shades darker than its original beige colour.

He sat on his bed, placed his plate of sandwiches carefully and looked to the magazine again.

There he was, Edward Elric, with all his gorgeous looks and devilish smile, looking to him from the cover. A smaller wave of shock hit him when he reread the small sentence next to him, _"Yep, I'm gay."_

The poor sandwich forgotten again, Roy read through the interview quickly, memorizing every word. When he finished it, his heart was beating fast and his breaths were short and quick.

A small part of the interview kept on repeating itself in his head.

"_Then, do you have a boyfriend?_

_Yeah, I have. He's a great guy. But, no more questions about him, I will introduce him to you guys when the time comes."_

Roy repeated it again.

_He's a great guy._

Was Ed talking about _him_?

He hoped so.

But, _a great guy_?

Roy slowly moved to the mirror in his room and looked to his reflection. Oily and entangled hair, empty looking eyes, dark circles under those eyes, sickly yellowish white skin, days of unshaved beard, baggy and dirty clothes and a hopeless expression. Who was this man? Definitely not himself, right?

And, definitely not someone a guy like Edward would call 'great'.

He ran and opened his curtains to see it with more light. No, the reflection was still the same, if not worse looking.

What happened to him?

What did he do to himself?

A determined light entered into the empty eyes. A worldwide superstar, one of the world's most wanted men, a man that had never took a place less than twenty in the world's sexiest men list showed interest in him. And, what was he doing about it, going into depression?

The next time Ed came to Central, Roy would be worthy of him.

And it wouldn't be the last time.

No man, not at all.

_Now_, Roy mused, _let's start with shaving. Then a good bath and some presentable clothes._


	2. Chapter 2

"Maes, don't you think it is enough?" Riza stood next to him and bend slightly to see what he was looking at, balancing her tray carefully not to spill tea.

"Sure Riza," the man with glasses said mechanically, not taking his eyes off the camera "I'm coming in a minute."

Riza shook her head slightly and with a smile, went to her friends.

Maes was currently in another world; a baby pink world with candies flying around for anyone to eat and clouds so puffy that you can sleep on them. There were only two people in this world, Maes, along with his camera and his beautiful, sweetest, darling daughter.

"Roy, move a little to right...more...ha! That's great! Now, take her little yellow toy and give her –"

"Just how many photos did you take today?" Roy complained while searching for the yellow toy.

"43." He switched off his camera before starting to search for the toy as well, "It should be near the couches, I remember seeing it."

"You're kidding."

"Nope, I _really_ saw it somewhere near the couches."

"43." Roy sighed, stopping his search behind the couch, "No wonder I began to see a dimple on her left cheek as well."

"Dimple?! Aa, I don't have any photos of her dimple!" her father ran to his dear daughter, the yellow toy long forgotten, switching on his camera quickly, "Agu bıgı cuu ooo! Look to daddy, ha, smile to daddy Elysia. Now that's my girl and –"

Ignoring the noisy father – giggling daughter duo, Jean turned to Roy as he threw himself to the couch and moaned "She's not even a toddler yet."

"Hey, hey. Careful with the couch, I don't want tea on it too." Jean warned in a mock serious tone.

"Then hold you cup tightly." Came the tired voice as its owner sprawled more comfortably to the couch. "Also, it was your fault for sitting on it with white pants, if I remember correctly."

"How could I know my _dear _friend spilled coffee all over it?"

"You could look where you were sitting." Roy raised his head and smirked to Jean while the ladies giggled in the background.

Jean was still thinking of a good comeback when the doorbell echoed in the room and Roy went to it with a murmured "Coming."

"He definitely looks better, hm?" Gracia said smiling to Riza.

"Yeah, whatever the reason for his bad mood, he is getting over it."

"Not just Catherine?" Maes said, looking over his daughter.

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know but he is feeling better and that's good enough for now." said Jean.

"Or he is getting better at acting." Riza murmured slowly.

"Don't think like that."

"Some more time," Maes murmured, "and I'll question him severely."

"You won't be alone."

Thankfully, in that moment Elysia made the cutest of sounds - at least according to Maes - and there was no trace of their conversation when Roy entered the living room with a letter in hand.

"What's it?" Jean asked the inevitable question, though curiosity more from the confused expression on the black haired man's face than the letter itself.

"A letter, for me." Roy answered slowly, eyes never leaving it, as he sat down on a chair next to the table.

Roy reread the destination of the large and stylish letter; who would send him a letter, let alone a special one only the recipient could take with signature? There was only one other name on it, Fono Production. This name sounded somewhat familiar.

He slowly opened the letter, taking his time, and took out one paper, filled with large, elegant writing and three signatures at the bottom.

Wondering why was he getting so nervous over a single letter; Roy took a deep breath and began reading it.

When he finished reading, he was still using the same breath.

With an audible huff, he released it but his new breath turned out to be a gasp as he read the names at the bottom.

Ignoring the calls and questions resulting from his gasp, he kept looking at the name that sent the letter, G. Grumman.

The famous director of many beyond-successful movies.

The director that shot many of his most-loved movies.

His favourite director!

"Roy, what's wrong?" his friends asked, worried from his silence.

"Nothing." answered the high-pitched voice that, normally, he would have refused coming from him, but right now, his lips declined to move from their position of the face-splitting grin he was wearing. "It's just Grumman...his movie...and its audition... and -" Roy took a deep breath, seeing his friends' weird expressions and quickly scanned the letter again, _just to be sure_, all the while earning time to slow down his beating heart. "Grumman wants me to come to the audition of his latest movie." He said in one breath.

The resulting shouts and exclamations were enough to scare baby Elysia that her mother had to hug her to give comfort, and after a few minutes, when they didn't stop, she had to warn them to be quiet.

All the while, still taking congratulations from his friends, Roy reminded himself not to start jumping, running around or rereading the letter – for he had already 5 times –, though he couldn't stop the hysterical laughter.

He was going to West City!

--

Roy was lying on his bed, exhausted. _Sun is setting,_ a little voice in his mind reminded him, so he should turn on the lights or he would end up asleep at this hour. And he was hungry. He scowled at the voice, that by reasons unknown to him was female, and repeated that instead of his consciousness, she should say it to his muscles, which refused to do anything other that aching.

Maybe he should just call the room service.

As soon as his arm muscles would gather enough power to lift his body from the bed.

Everybody who knew Roy would readily say that he wasn't into sports. He already had a fit body that whatever he ate, wouldn't turn anything into fat – much to the envy of his friends. So, the only activity that could be passed as 'sport' would be his occasional swimming at holidays. Okay, he didn't have six packs but he didn't have any fat as well so Roy didn't have any problem with his condition.

That was, until last week.

Somehow, his character in the movie had some action scenes and last week, with their merciless coach, all the people in those scenes started training. He could swear that he sweated more than he did in all his lifetime.

He didn't want to mention about the pain of his muscles.

Okay, it was pretty shocking to see his body doing all those complex kicks, swings and punches correctly, also while praising him his coach didn't seem like the cruel man he was, but by all means, it wasn't worth the pain he was in for the last few days.

He didn't know climbing stairs could be a torturous activity.

It looked like Jean knew for he laughed his head off when he had told him the day before.

Roy groaned when that unknown female in his head reminded again that, _the sun finished setting and now, it is dusk so wanna turn on the lights?_

Before he gave a suitable answer to the annoying voice in his head, there was a knock on the door. Roy just turned his head to glare at the door, daring whoever behind it to knock again.

In a few moments where Roy was about to return to his own world, convinced that the knock was just a part of his imagination; another, louder knock came.

Ignoring the very female giggle echoing in his mind, he demanded his aching muscles to move, solely by his willpower, and slowly began to walk towards his hotel room's door, his mind already forming numerous sentences full of _very nice _words to say to the poor guy who happened to be knocking his door right now.

Though, by some unknown power, all of them flew away the moment he saw who was in front of him.

And carrying a tray full of mouth-watering-smell-spreading food.

With a wink, Edward just entered the room, leaving Roy with a silly smile on his face to close the door.

He couldn't help but kiss him before attacking all the delicious food.

"When did you come here?" Roy asked after his eating pace was slowed down enough to enable talking between bites, "I didn't know you were coming."

"I came about," he looked to his watch, "fifteen minutes ago and I will return back four hours later." He sipped from his flavoured soda, "Of course nobody knew I was coming, I wouldn't be able to enjoy a quiet evening with you otherwise." He grinned.

"I thought the hotel had guards," He put down his fork, eyeing the dessert, "and you're recognizable enough not to be able to pass unnoticed by them." taking his spoon, he started to eat the dessert.

"I have my ways." He winked, "Remember the spy character I played last year?"

"Stop kidding!"

Roy promptly ignored the connection the unknown female made as he was lying breadthways on his bed and watching Ed put the tray on an empty table. Maybe she wasn't wrong, he was like a satisfied cat at the moment; full stomach, warm, happy and Edward was with him.

Of course, except, satisfied cats don't have aching muscles.

Now that he was no longer hungry, those treacherous muscles reminded themselves to Roy, making him groan unhappily.

"Hm?" Ed raised his eyebrows before lying next to him and looked to him with those large, golden eyes.

How much he missed them.

"Aching muscles." He answered as he wrapped his right arm around Ed and pulled him close.

"Oh, you have action scenes?"

"Unfortunately."

He laughed, "Not a sportive one then."

"Definitely. Those trainings are the most sportive thing I have ever done."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he said with a soft laughter, "especially with those heartless coaches, right?"

Somehow, more than his winks and smiles, this comment made Roy want to hug him tightly and kiss him senseless. Everything aside, what he most missed about Edward was his understanding and emphatic side.

"Yeah, those unmerciful coaches."

"Cruel."

"Unpitying."

"Ruthless."

"Hard-hearted."

Edward blinked and laughed, "That was good."

As they laughed together, Roy was happy. He was happier than he had been for many months and as his laughter subsided a little, he hugged Ed tighter and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"You're happier than the last time I saw you."

Roy blinked; trying to remember when was the said time. _Oh, _it was when he was still in depression. "Yeah." He really didn't want to talk to Ed about that period of his life.

"What changed?" Of course, did he really believe Ed would leave it alone? Hah, maybe in his dreams, though than he wouldn't be Ed.

"Let's say, I got motivated by an article I saw in a magazine."

Ed raised his head, looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a confused expression, searching deep into his eyes and "Oh." With a smile, he snuggled closer to him, leaning his head to Roy's chest; after a few breaths, he said slowly, "Had to make your place on the stage."

They stayed like this for some time, just holding each other and feeling the moment.

Roy was relieved; he was feeling guilty that he had doubts in the first place, and feeling worse knowing Ed had expected them. But he didn't want to dwell on them right now and ruin the moment. Also, wasn't the important one Ed's more-than-considerate action even after learning about it?

"You know, after saying all those to my coach, it feels as if my muscles ache less." Roy said, thoughtfully, as Ed started laughing next to him, "No wonder for the last two days, they were aching more."

Those golden eyes looked at his face, shining with amusement and Roy smiled, "What happened two days ago?"

"Oh, it's just that Jean found my condition hilarious and praised my coach all day long."

"He was here? Good thing I didn't come on Monday then, I was actually considering it."

"He and Riza." Roy said, "We wouldn't be able to spend a quiet and comfortable evening in that case. With all the questions and so on."

Ed smiled, understanding the implication of the sentence, "How are they? Alone and sad that you left them behind in Central?"

"You wish. I guess they are happier that the house has one less occupant." Roy huffed mockingly, "Though, what I find the most amusing is that they can't spend so much time in Central anymore. Riza has to come to West City a few times a week for her last contract as the face of that cosmetic brand; she is actually ecstatic about it, saying she used to give tons of money for their make-up equipments and now she gets them all free and they give her tons of money. Jean is also more encouraged since he met –"

Happily, Roy told Ed about the new developments on his friends' careers. Jean had somehow met a famous singer and they talked about his uncertainties for the solo career and Jean was so motivated when they met two days ago, saying he could do it and he had already started to contact some record companies. Maes couldn't come that day, because he had to stay in Central for the TV series that Roy had come to the auditions. He was saying it wasn't a good chance for an actor but as a script writer, some big channels noticed him and said that they were open to his ideas for new series. Maes was actually wishing whole-heartedly for that series to end.

Roy was still mystified about Ed's interest in his friends' careers but he was just so happy for them that he didn't mind telling everything all over again for him.

Was this year their lucky one, they had joked when they had met. Just last year, none of them could find any decent jobs that three of them had to move to one house and sell the others but this year, all their careers just exploded.

In the end, four hours were not enough time to cease their longing for each other but they talked about everything and nothing; Roy's experiences on the set and his opinions about it, Ed's new movie that the shooting would begin in the next month and many others. When Roy had kissed him goodbye and closed the door of his room, he remembered that he wanted to ask him about the assistant director, Alphonse Elric. They had the same surname, were they relatives?

Though, he dismissed the thought as he focused on the bubbling happiness inside him that overshadowed his dread for tomorrow's training session, nervousness for the shooting at the dawn or excitement for acting as Grumman watched his every move.

However, somehow, that damn unknown female managed to reach her voice to him and showed him his thoughts again. _Shooting at the dawn?_

It must be totally a coincidence that he noticed his aching muscles and tiredness spreading in waves from his body at that exact moment.

Still, when he lay down, he was still smiling silly as he thought about Ed and _he came all the way here just to see me._


	3. Chapter 3

_These days are becoming rarer_, Jean mused and glanced to his right, as he was driving. Riza was sitting calmly, as always, and looking outside the window. Noticing his movement, she looked at him and smiled, thinking along the same lines. When they were in Central, they would have special nights with friends, home parties or they would just call Hughes family to play with Elysia. Obviously, they used to have more time to spare to each other.

It didn't mean that they didn't like their new home or life style. Actually, it was quite the opposite; every time Jean saw his new home, he would feel that warmness spread to his body. Who cares if it wasn't a huge mansion, or on the scenery side of the city where all the famous actors or producers have their homes? It was still in West City and larger than their last one.

As they neared to their home, they noticed a familiar red car in front of it. Slowly, they parked next to it and saw the blond man exit his car as they moved to the back of theirs to get grocery bags.

Seeing Edward Elric wasn't creating such a shock like it used to before. Jean would still feel self-conscious around him, but it wasn't for something Ed did.

It was not that he came to this house to see him or Riza; somehow the blond superstar and Roy developed a good relationship over the time and they was seeing him more and more after the three of them moved in to West City a few months ago.

Neither they nor Maes questioned Roy about it yet, happy that he has the friendship of such a good actor as they saw with their eyes that none of them could understand his problems as good as Ed; however, sometimes Jean suspected that this relationship was a bit more that friendship. Or maybe he was just imagining things; this was Roy he was talking about!

"What are you doing here?" Riza asked, as she was giving Ed some bags to carry home, "I thought you went abroad for shooting."

"We returned yesterday," he said, his usual smile on his face, "and I still have this day off so I though I can come here." He glanced to the house, "I was thinking about a surprise but no one was home; I was lucky you came or I was going to return back!"

"I thought Roy was home." Jean said absently.

"Well, nobody answers the door."

The three of them talked as they entered the house and Jean helped Riza to organize the kitchen again, most of the time Edward gave them advice about how to get rid of paparazzi as they began to be problematic to Riza.

"Replies to criticism are acceptable but never reply to gossip writers for then they would feel as if their opinions are important to you or something. Actually, if you can, just don't read th –" Edward's speech was interrupted by a loud noise upstairs that startled everybody and they hurriedly ran to the source of it.

The reason turned out to be Roy – Jean murmured "I told he was at home." – sitting on the TV room floor, leaning to the couch and humming. He raised his head when he saw them entering the room in panic and said "I fell from the couch." Then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he returned back to his humming.

"You ok?" Riza sat down next to him, after the confused silence and exchanging glances.

"Hmm." was the only reply she got as he kept on staring to the ceiling with a dreamy smile.

"Didn't you hear the door bell?" Jean asked, coming next to Riza, "Edward rang it several times."

"Ooh, Edo is here!" Roy giggled in a high-pitched voice, ignoring Ed's incredulous expression to the new-found nickname, "Come on! Come here!" he giggled again, patting the space next to him, opposite of Jean and Riza.

Jean exchanged a look with Riza; something was wrong with Roy. Very wrong. They watched as Edward moved slowly to the space Roy showed, his movements tense.

A few minutes later, when Roy returned back to his staring to the ceiling, Ed called, "Roy?"

"There are weird patterns on the ceiling." He said in a dreamy voice, lost in his world, "There is a circle...and another one there...and a star. Its shining...that square is shining mor-"

"Roy, look at me." Ed's voice interrupted his musings. When Roy ignored him, he called again, increasing his voice.

After, his second call was ignored too; Ed held Roy from his shoulders and yanked him, calling him slowly with a serious and cold tone. Jean felt worry creeping into his stomach as he watched Edward tense and his eyes widen seeing Roy's eyes.

The next moment was so fast that before Jean and Riza understood what was happening, Edward was pulling Roy from his collar and dragging him to the bathroom. He closed the door harshly behind Roy, shouting "And don't get out of there until you remember who you are!!"

Jean's question of "What happened?" was ignored as Ed frantically began to search the room, turning the coach upside down, looking at to all the drawers or behind all the furniture until he found what he was looking for.

When they saw the bottle of pills in his hand, the question wasn't needed anymore.

Edward's hand was shaking as he was emptying it to the sink.

Fifteen minutes.

Jean checked the clock again; for the last fifteen minutes, Roy was in the bathroom with the sound of water running. He glanced to his right; Edward was sitting silently, other than the silent thank you to Riza for the tea, and was currently staring to the said cup of tea. Riza, on the other hand, couldn't stop where she was; firstly she prepared tea for Edward since he was looking so pale that for a moment they got scared he would faint, and then she started organizing the TV room again. Right now, she had calmed down a little and was absent-mindedly dusting the furniture of the room.

Those pills. Jean still couldn't believe Roy was on drugs. How they didn't notice before? When? Since when? And why?

The dense silence was broken by the sound of door opening, sound of water running still on.

Roy drew out his head and drawled "I got bored of getting wet."

Jean was able to see his friend's eyes for a moment. He gasped; the onyx orbs were a dull grey, clouded and unfocused. He obviously wasn't aware of his surroundings. This one glance was enough for Jean, and also all that was offered, for the next moment Edward was standing with all his might and he roared "Don't you even think of getting out of there like this!" The authority, power and anger in his voice registered even to Roy as he quickly entered the bathroom, looking scared for a moment.

The quality of his voice, Jean thought shuddering, glad that it wasn't directed to him, was nothing compared to the fire in his eyes. Those kind, caring and full of amusement eyes was burning with an out-of-control rage, making it look like hot, molten gold.

The anger of the blond man was gone as fast as it came and Edward sat on the floor, looking tired, depressed and somehow older than he should be.

"I just wanted a good career," he murmured quietly, but in the silence of the room, both of them heard him clearly, "without drugs, sex tapes or scandals. Why is it so hard?"

None of them knew how much they waited silently, Ed still sitting on the floor, couldn't find the strength to move to the couch. At last, the sound of water stopped, and the door of the bathroom opened.

Jean and Riza watched as Roy walked slowly, just looking to the floor but obviously himself, seen from the way he walked with his usual grace. He was soaked, his clothes sticking to his skin and he didn't bother drying himself before exiting the bathroom.

"I remember myself." He whispered slowly, lifting his head and looking to the other three occupants of the room.

He looked into the eyes of his friends; Jean could look at them for only a few moments, just enough time to notice that they were filled with guilt and shame before dark eyes returned back to floor, the anger and disappointment in the brown ones too much for him. Red-brown eyes of Riza were even harder, locking with onyx ones barely for a second before they ran away to the floor again.

Roy kept on staring to the floor, wasn't powerful enough to face the disappointment of the yellow eyes too. Edward didn't try to look at him as well; he was staring to the floor also. His two friends didn't say a word to Roy, afraid that they would hurt him more than needed or their disgust would be apparent in their voices.

It was Edward, who made the first movement. He raised his head, not enough to look to Roy's eyes but to his clothes.

"You should change into dry clothes," he said with an unbelievably tender tone, "you might get sick."

With barely a nod, Roy walked to his bedroom.

Jean looked at Edward with an unbelieving expression. Roy was one of his best friends that he knew for many years but he could hardly mask the disgust from his facial expressions; how did Ed talk to him with such kindness and sincerity? He was freaked out when he found the pills...

In that moment, flashes from old paparazzi shows filled Jean's brain, similar to flashback moments of a TV show. Emergency to hospital, death of a celebrity, hospitalizing in a rehabilitation center and a statement to public. Looking to his broken and distressed state, Jean remembered that Edward Elric had been a cocaine addict; he lost a friend because of over-dose and after months of rehabilitation, his body was cleared and he never touched anything addictive again.

When Jean looked up again, Roy had entered the room again, with dry clothes and was currently sitting in front of Ed as he was drying his hair with a towel. He was facing them but his eyes was everywhere except him or Riza. After a few moments of trying, he just closed them, unable to look at anywhere without seeing disappointment or anger.

"I threw them away." Ed whispered, still toweling the black, wet hair.

"Thank you." was the nearly-audible reply.

"Can you stand the withdrawal or do you think you should to go a rehabilitation center?"

The question was startling enough for Roy that he stopped looking to that _damn_ floor and turned around as fast as his neck allowed him to look at Ed's eyes.

They were guarded, Roy noticed, hiding many emotions from him but he saw what he needed, understanding and acceptance.

"Whatever you choice, I will stand by you."

With a strangled "thank you" Roy threw himself into Ed's arms, his sanctuary where he could hide away from the disappointment and disgust in his friend's eyes, his increasing self-hatred and decreasing self-esteem. When he put his head to the other's shoulder and felt his arms wrap his body, he could get away from the lies and gossips of paparazzi, the high expectations of everyone around him and the life style as much as he wanted to get away, felt himself falling into.

--

"Nervous?"

"Excited."

Roy glanced out of the window; the sun was setting and the lights of buildings and commercials were on. The car – limousine, he corrected himself – was going slowly, partly because of the traffic, partly for its occupants to enjoy the scenery. Still, Roy didn't waste his time looking to the bright city; the view inside was far much better than that.

"Want some champagne to ease the _excitement_?"

"Nope, I want to remember this night," he smirked, "opposed to the common belief."

It should be against laws that anyone would look so deliciously attractive in a suit. And, how come ribbon could look so good on any man? Who cares if it is a black one, the same colour as his suit, it was still a ribbon!

"That's nice," he softly laughed, "it will be one to remember."

"Shouldn't you be the one to get excited? It's your movie's premier."

"Who said I'm not?"

After a few moments of silence, Roy murmured, "I guess tomorrow I can see my face on many of the magazine covers." his tone indicating his lack of happiness about the issue.

"Not many," he smirked, golden eyes shining, "_all._"

"And you're happy about it?"

"You know, we could have waited more if you weren't ready –"

"No, no. I am ready. I am just not so fond of paparazzi."

"Who is?" he giggled, "But it will be fun seeing their shock; I can imagine the headlines, 'Shocking Couple' or 'Elric and Mustang?'."

"And Jean will collect them all." Roy groaned.

The other laughed, "It was great, their shock yesterday."

"Yeah," he started laughing too, "it took them a full minute to comprehend what we said. And the first thing Jean said was 'I knew it'. It was hilarious!"

"And Hughes' expression, he was literally craving for a camera!" They kept on laughing for at least five minutes, when it subsided a little, Ed asked, "So he forgave you?"

"Yeah, everything is ok with all three of them." Roy smiled, "Though I am not allowed to get near anything resembling pills – not even vitamins – and they don't let me drink anything. Hm, can I have some of that champagne you offered?"

"Nope." Edward giggled to the other's mock-up pout, "I don't want the three of them to assault me for arranging your meeting with any kind of addictive."

"You know it is over." He said seriously, scowling slightly, "I won't ever return back to that state again."

"I know." Edward said softly, a sincere smile on his face.

Roy watched as golden eyes slowly shifted from his face to his neck and slowly travelled all his body up and down, taking in all the details, and then they moved to a point over his shoulder. Upon a glance, Roy's heart skipped a beat seeing it is the theatre of the movie premier.

"Ready?"

Roy gulped, nodding nonetheless.

"Don't worry, you look gorgeous." Ed came closer and whispered to his ear, "If we weren't going into public and our photos wouldn't be the cover of tens of magazines tomorrow, I would have ravished you senseless right here, right now." Ed's breathe prickling his skin, Roy's heart made an attempt to get out of its ribcage. Of course he knew he looked attractive, he had spent an hour in front of the mirror, checking his reflection for any imperfections.

Still, hearing it from Ed definitely helped.

Limousine stopped slowly with precise measurement and as Edward exited it, he was directly at the beginning of the red carpet. Roy's heart was beating like a drum next to his ears while he watched all the flashes and shouts, hiding himself in the shadows in the car.

When sounds and flashes subsided a little, he saw Ed holding out his hand for him; grabbing it, he exited the car as well.

Roy felt, more that saw, Ed's smirk and put something similar to his face as the flashes and shouts increased at least tenfold.

--

Edward was feeling like he threw a precious hour of his life to a trash can instead of doing more meaningful things with it. And, what was worse, he was continuing to waste more of his time.

_Just how long is this program?_, he mused irritably; the three others he watched today weren't nearly as long as this one.

Being it long was all good and nice, since the longer the show the more news they would likely to give. And, his aim was to watch as much news as he could, right?

On the other hand, as he watched the background voice explain the value of the jewels the singer wore, Edward wondered if it was worth it; he has a new definition of a torturous activity to waste his time, watching magazine and gossip shows.

Ed wanted to throw something in frustration, preferably something that would inflict harm; fortunately there was no one else in the home.

In all of them, it was the same.

It was as if a person called Roy Mustang didn't live on earth; he was known as 'Edward Elric's boyfriend', in such an extend that if Ed would feel sarcastic about the issue, he would ask whether by some legal decision, he changed his name.

But, Edward wasn't feeling anything other than extensive amount of anger and not ignorable amount of sorrow towards the issue. Even if the news would be only about Roy, he would still be called 'Elric's boyfriend' or other titles meaning the same thing more than they called him with his name. The people weren't aware of him and his accomplishments; the only thing they noticed about him was his relationship with Edward.

If it would be any other person, Ed wouldn't be feeling anything when the other would be labelled as his girlfriend – there had been no boyfriend before Roy. In most of the cases in the past, the girl he had dated was overshadowed by his name and Ed would only shrug about it.

The first time in his life, Edward didn't want his presence to dull the one next to him and, he knew, there was only one way accomplish it.

The opened his black, little notebook and dialled the first number he saw, without even reading the name of the girl.

The moon would be the shiniest thing in the sky if it wouldn't be for the sun. Edward trusted the moon that he built up enough light on himself so he would survive without sun around.

Then people would notice his light as well.

_Sorry, Roy._


	4. Chapter 4

Commercials. They just had to put the longest commercial break just before the number one.

Jean sighed, taking his eyes off the TV screen and beginning to prepare coffee. He wanted to kiss whoever thought of putting a small TV in the kitchen. It was more than convenient.

He stopped his humming, hearing voices getting closer to kitchen.

"Good morning!" He called happily, earning similar responses from his three friends.

Jean was unusually happy these past days because of the reunion of friends after a long time. For the last two days, Hughes family was staying with them and Riza was uncommonly free - obviously results of her own doings – so four friends were spending time together again, like they used to in the past.

Although the get-together was great and fun, the reason for it wasn't a happy one. Jean glanced at Roy before shifting his questioning stare to Riza and Maes.

"I'm ok, Jean." Roy said with a bored tone, then added after seeing what he was doing, "I hope you're preparing coffee for me too."

"Your permission is only for this week, you know," he said, "next week you chores will begin."

A soft laugh, "I know, I know."

One week ago, in separate places of the country, they all watched the news in horror.

Edward Elric had cheated on Roy.

To say that Roy was devastated would be an underestimation.

There were no problems with their relationship and Roy, too, learned the news on TV. Edward didn't even call him to tell it personally.

In the eyes of Jean, Edward Elric lost all his value. His anger towards him was in such a high level that if he would see him on the street, he would jump on him to attack him and hurt him, as much as he hurt his friend. For the last few days, his best friends tried their hardest to cheer Roy up, even Elysia noticed his depression and did her cutest tricks to him; Roy was getting better bit by bit, although it was apparent for his friends that he neededa_ lot _more time to completely heal. Still, at every chance he could find, he said how much he appreciated their presence with him.

Even though Roy had been very happy, his friends were somewhat disturbed about his relationship with Edward, even from the start. The blond man lived in a whole different world, a league out of their reach. He got everything he wanted on a silver plate and the entire world wanted his attention; he was swimming in glory, success, fame and power.

It was a treacherous feeling but they were happy that Roy got rid of him and returned back to their friendship. None of them talked about it, it was guilty enough that they were feeling it, let alone talk about it, but it was there and all three of them were aware of it. Like the way they knew Roy would get over his hurt sooner or later.

Jean's head snapped to the TV and tuned out all the sounds except it as soon as he heard the end of commercials.

"_In the last hour, we counted down the juiciest couples of the entertainment. We passed the fam –"_

"Jean!" Riza called but she was ignored.

"Jean!!" Maes tried this time, trying to find the remote and seeing it in the blond's hands, he hit his shoulder, earning and "Hey!" from Jean.

"What are you doing?" the blond man asked in a loud voice, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"Try anot-" he wasn't fast enough. The background voice had already announced the number one couple.

It took Jean's mind a few seconds to grasp his friends' intentions but by that time, Roy's eyes were already glued to the screen showing his and Edward's photos and interviews. As quickly as he could, Jean changed the channel, a news one for safety.

He shot an apologetic look to Riza and Maes before glancing to Roy, and he noticed guiltily that he was biting his lower lip slightly and his eyes already had the distant and watery look. They were focused on the screen when the dreaded name was heard from the TV again.

"_- was hospitalized after the horrible accident yesterday night. His condition is still unknown and the crowd outside the hospital is getting impatient. The other...oh..."_ the reporter stopped for a moment, listening something from his earphone, _"Elric's doctor will inform us abut his condition now."_

The scene changed to a hospital and a doctor in his white coat standing in front of the gates, surrounded by microphones and reporters. The occupants of the room stared to the screen, trying to understand what everything was about, alert in case this was some kind of paparazzi news that would remind Roy the emotions he tried hard to forget.

The middle-aged doctor started to talk, _"The surgeries were successful and Edward Elric's condition is not fatal at the moment. He is under intensive care currently. Unfortunately, because of his head injuries, he is in comatose state and it is unknown when he will get out o-"_

The sound of glass shattering jerked them back to reality and they all noticed that they were numb from the shock of the news.

Still, they ran to their friend and held him tightly.

It took their combined power to support him as he collapsed, silent tears moving along his cheeks.

--

"Stop playing with it!" Roy's voice echoed in the small room but was pointedly ignored by his friends.

"Aww!! C'mon man, we're your friends, aren't we allowed to touch it?"

"You're so materialistic Roy," Maes said, narrowing his eyes, "just because it is golden, you give it more value than you friends' needs."

"Wasn't it you, who was calculating how much it is worth?" Jean murmured, elbowing him.

"Because it a solid gold; after selling it, I can buy tons of new clothes to Elysia!" he turned to his friend with shining eyes, "Think about it Roy, instead of looking at a boring, gold statue, you can look at beautiful, dear Elysia with nice clothes!"

"The statue is so recognizable; we should cut it into pieces before selling it." Riza suggested, hiding her smile behind a carefully positioned hand.

"Yeah, three pieces would be all right," Jean said excited, disregarding Roy's panicked expression, "or maybe we should just cut it into several small pieces and sell them to jewellers; what do you think Roy?"

"That's enough!" Roy, literally, jumped and rescued the small statue from his laughing friends and put it carefully on the miniature table behind him, out of the reach of his friends.

"That expression was priceless!" Maes managed to say between laughs, "Why did the battery of my camera had to run out?!" he tried to whine but it was undistinguishable between his laughs.

"Maybe because you took photos of, what, every two minutes, of the night?" Riza pointed out.

"It was worth it!"

"In this case, again, cheers to Roy's success!" Jean ended the meaningless staring contest between his friends, raising his glass of wine, "Congratulations!"

After a new set of well done celebrations, Roy murmured silently, "Once was enough, really." with a large smile threatening to split his face into two and a slight blush to his cheeks.

"Was it because of the thanks I said to you guys?" he said after silence regained, "Next time I won't, if you keep on embarrassing me like this."

"You didn't mean it, man!"

"Hey! It was on the stage, in front of the whole world, you thanked us separately!"

"So, you say there will be a next time?"

Jean and Maes' nonsense talking stopped by Riza's question. Mischievous eyes turned to him but sensing the upcoming wave of jokes, Roy quickly answered "I hope so. I still have one year until it, right?" with a smirk. It was enough to silence the duo, and with their meals arrived, there was silence except the sound of four hungry people attacking food for some time around the table.

"You gave such a long list of names on the stage that I didn't know some of them." Jean said, sipping from his wine, half of his food gone within minutes. "All the people who helped you in your career?"

"Yeah, most of them." Roy answered, looking to his meal without seeing it. There was only one person he should have included but didn't have the heart to. He was in the theatre too; on the stage, out of thousands of people looking at him, Roy's eyes found him, thankfully he didn't manage to feel anything because of the surrealism of the moment.

Of course, ten minutes later, this time he went to the stage and Roy had to see him again; but his eyes only looked ahead of him.

Fortunately, Jean didn't continue his questioning; for it was going to a subject he didn't like to talk about _at all_. For the rest of the meal, four friends used the advantages of a private room in a restaurant by talking loudly, making jokes and laughing with all their might.

There was a knock on the door, after the waiter collected their empty dishes, gave them dessert menu and left the room; four heads raised from their separate menus, none of them able to choose which one to order yet.

Ready to express his request for more time to choose to the coming waiter, Maes' words died on the tip of his tongue when he saw who entered the room. He put the menu back to the table for his hands began to shake from a mix of anger, shock and more anger.

The easy-going mood of the table turned into thick-enough-to-cut-with-knife in less than a second.

The invader of the room – for he entered without an invitation – knew the reason for the change of atmosphere; after a nearly shy glance to the table and taking a deep breath he began to talk, he, too, wishing this reunion to be as short as possible.

"I don't wish to ruin your dinner or its enjoyable ambience." He ignored the snort coming from the table and continued with the same calm and collected voice, looking at only one person, "I want to congratulate you for the award you won today and all the successes leading to it." He inclined his head slightly and gave a small nod, along with a smile on his face, "Sorry for the disturbance, please enjoy your meal." With a small bow, the blond man turned around to left the room.

"As if we can enjoy it now." Jean's bitter voice said quietly, still loud enough for the recipient to hear.

"You should just say it on TV," Maes said, glaring to the back of the blond man, ignoring that he didn't give any reaction to them, "since we're used to learning news abou-"

"Edward," Roy interrupted, effectively silencing the room and stopping the man before he reached the door. With a strong voice, he continued, "don't you think an explanation is required, even if it is four years late?" He didn't reply to his congratulations, instead seizing his chance to talk about more important issues.

Edward slowly turned around, for the first time looking at the people around the table before the golden eyes settled on the onyx ones.

"I thought my reasons would be obvious by now."

"I still want to hear them from you."

Riza watched the exchange with interest. After the olive branch – as much as it could be – from Roy, Edward's reply was too cold and unemotional. Although Roy's resulting reply was in similar coldness, she could see the hurt lingering behind his calm facade. Still, with high probability, the hurt was from old memories instead of the blond man's current voice tone.

On the other hand, there was a problem with Edward; a glance showed that her other two friends noticed it as well, over their anger. His tone was cold, his expression blank and body language defensive. Okay, it might be because this was the first time they saw the blond man without his usual smile, easygoing behaviour and smart comments that they felt uncomfortable. However, if any of them learned anything about Edward over their friendship for two years; it would be that all his emotions would shine in his eyes. He was a great actor and could easily change his expression according to the situation but anyone who learned the way they should look into his eyes would see his true emotions; he was unable to hide them.

But right now, those eyes were guarded and they didn't give the smallest clue about his emotional state.

"You were begun to be known as my boyfriend instead of by your name."

"And this caused a problem because?"

"It wouldn't do any good to your career to be labelled from a relationship."

"Career?" Roy increased his voice, "Always career, only for career! Was all, _all, _of it was for _career_?!"

Instead of backing off from the outburst, Edward walked to the table, never taking his eyes off Roy until he reached it.

"Yes, at the beginning, you were the talented, good-looking actor who couldn't find his opportunity-of-the-lifetime yet, with friends in similar conditions." His tone was icy but his eyes were burning and Roy didn't backed down the smallest bit as Ed bend down on the table to get closer, "So, I decided to help you; you all had the potential and a small nudge to the right direction or appearance of a chance was enough to make you future stars of West City. But," he narrowed his eyes, "do you think I would spend two years of my life for such a thing if I didn't feel anything towards you?!"

"Though an ex-girlfriend was enough to end that 'two years'!"

"Oh, don't even mention that bitch!" Ed broke the eye contact in order to roll his eyes, "Nothing more than a waste of time!"

"At least you should have explained your reasons to me!"

"I couldn't possibly explain them before I broke up because you wouldn't listen!" His volume was increasing steadily, "I had planned it, I was going to talk to you a few weeks later, when you were willing to listen but" he was practically shouted, "I was in coma by that time!"

No one dared to make a sound as Edward straightened, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

Years ago, when Roy was shooting a movie with Grumman, he had laughed about their lucky year with his friends. After two years, when he was trying to get over his painful emotions and tried to understand Edward's behaviour, he noticed something. Checking his three friends' careers, he encountered similar connections.

The movie that changed his life, that moved his career to West City, had a legendary director. However, in the light of Grumman, he had totally ignored the assistant director, a man called Alphonse Elric, the one and only brother of Edward Elric. Then, the worldwide known Xingese singer, that Jean got lots of advice from, was Edward's drinking buddy. The two brother owners of the record company turned out to be childhood acquaintances of Ed, again, who owned him a few favours. The list continued with the model that used to work with the cosmetics company Riza worked for two years, who was an ex-girlfriend of him or the director of the TV series that loved to shoot the Maes' scripts, who was a common friend of Elric brothers.

The list wasn't too long, not too short either, and it consisted of all the important contracts they signed or the important people they met that gave them inspiration or motivation. It was a list of all the chances they didn't lose in two years and all of them had only one common point, they were connected to Edward Elric.

They had once mentioned that Edward was living in a different world than theirs; this list was their individual steps towards his world.

When they noticed this list, although they had suspected a little, four of them understood the influence of Edward to their lives more clearly and understood his reasoning for his cruel breakup with Roy.

Though, it didn't mean they accepted it.

The female voice in Roy's head said in that moment, again, that he should have thanked Ed on the stage today because he helped him more than many of the names in his list.

"When I remembered my plans about that talk with you," Edward started with a quiet and calmer voice, effectively pulling everyone away from their thoughts, "it was already too late."

"But you came today."

"I was in the next room and heard your voices."

"Today is even later," Roy said after a pause, "but still you talked about it."

"Because you wanted me to."

"You could have easily declined it."

Edward stayed silent for some time, looking to his shoes; and everybody waited silently for him to continue. Their anger was pushed into background in order to learn the true reasons for his behaviours. When he raised his head, they noticed, with surprise, that his mask was shattering, along with the curtain that hid his emotions from his eyes.

"At...at that time," he started explaining quietly, still not looking at any of them, "I was trying to find a reason to live, to stand again and walk towards. I couldn't look at the past because they were all gone, I could never find my strength again through them. I had to look into my future." He raised his head and Roy held his breath seeing all the emotions in the golden orbs. "Roy, you were a part of my past. I had to let it go, because I knew I could never be the same again, and my life would never be like my past. I was happy at that time and if I stuck to it, I would never be able to move on." With a wistful smile, his eyes returned back to their staring to the ground again, he whispered softly, "I still have some things I couldn't let go and it hurts."

As Roy tried to regain his breath, all the emotions behind his golden eyes, pain, hope, anxiety, determination, passion, many others with an emptiness that threatens to destroy them all, he used this time to look at and observe Ed.

He had come directly from the ceremony, thus still wearing his suit. According to Roy, any kind of suit would look good on him and the one he was wearing now was no exception, if anything, Roy could have said that it was specially designed to make him look hotter, sexier and all the while more elegant and lithe. Like usual, his hair tie suited his clothes – today it was black – and his whole black-white suit, including his white gloves and shoes, made his eyes reveal themsel –

His observation stopped here...gloves? Why would he wear gloves?

Roy still remembered clearly the blond's distaste towards anything that covers his hands; scowling a little, he began to recall the events of the last four years in Edward's life.

After the car crash, he was in coma for nearly six months and after another additional month, the hospital released him. Though there were no interviews with him, it was a statement from his brother. Then for the next two years, there were nothing about Edward on media, other than occasional 'what happened to him?' news. And suddenly, last year, he returned back full force, with a superb movie that let him get to best actor award today.

There was a huge gap and whatever happened had changed Edward severely and permanently. And Roy wanted to learn it.

His return-back role was an interesting one, an android that was trying to fit into human life. Roy mused, why would he choose such a character after years of not acting? Maybe because it was different from the ones he used to play or he liked the script so much or –

"_I was trying to find a reason to live, to stand again and walk towards."_

Or because the character was so similar to him.

The main character of the movie, Fullmetal, was an android that had a metal arm and leg and was trying to fit into human society.

"_...to stand again and walk towards"_

Roy gasped.

He meant it literally.

"It was real." He whispered slowly, wishing he just guessed wrong. "Automail." But the look in Edward's eyes said it was very much true and Roy's insides froze in horror; he couldn't even imagine Edward's pain and struggle.

By the time his friends caught up with his train of thought, Edward was looking at him with a painful and bitter smile; the hollowness in his eyes somehow seemed larger and more threatening.

"I hoped, at least, you'd notice it after I left."

After a few moments of silence and awkward staring, Edward bid his goodbyes and good lucks and moved towards the door.

Still Roy's mind was occupied with one question: he let his past go but why did he come to here today?

Thankfully, the unknown female in his head pitied him and showed him another part of Edward's speech.

"_I still have some things I couldn't let go and it hurts."_

Roy hadn't chosen whether to kiss or punch that female in the head as he hurriedly ran after Edward and managed to hold his wrist before he reached the door.

"Am I included in the things you let go?" he asked softly, without waiting for the blond man to turn around.

"I try my hardest to forget you and our memories." He slowly turned around, his long hair swaying with the movement and those beautiful golden eyes locked into Roy's dark ones, "I haven't managed to yet."

"One last question," Roy said, taking a deep breath, only a small smile revealing his increasing nervousness and rising of the treacherous hope, "do you think I am famed enough, now, to bear this relationship?"

The golden orbs widened and all the remaining shadows of his guarded expression vanished in shock. Roy didn't have to wait long for an answer; Ed threw himself into his arms the moment he got over his shock and buried his head deep into his chest.

Roy held him tightly, trying to reassure himself that this moment was real for it felt more surreal than the evening when he got a worldwide known, prestigious award.

And he swore, whatever the reason, he wouldn't let him go this time.


End file.
